Wheel of fortune

Does it feel hurt when you see some people around you smiling because they get what they wanted, otherside you dont get what you want?
It really hurts badly, like everything maybe gonna be alright if you dont have a heart.
Tears may not come out because you know its your own fault.
You might say dammed for the time. Dammed the past. Dammed everything. Dammed what've been through.
I greatly, throughly something like that last night. I couldnt sleep, those uneasiness face that my mom had was killing me.
I was searching for a reason to hold my self from getting any further thought.
But when i see up to on the sky. I knew. The wheel of fortune is being played. And yet, my turn hasnt came. I know, maybe Allah wants me to taste the hardwork and train me to be something stronger than before. I know, Allah is watching me right now, and what can i do is praying and hoping that something is gonna be happen. I believe, and I know. I know. I have to keep on my walk. The road might not be as smooth as silk. But, you cant call a road without any obstacle right? ^^ bismillah.

This second post is for a friend of me that keep believing in me eventhought i didnt even believe in myself. Thank you very much for you support. You have done well as a psycholog(y). I know you are gonna be a succesful woman in that university. Dont worry it will be My University too. It is just the time is not yet came. And for the other two, the one in business school and law faculty. I do hope for your future and happy tasting the fruits of your hardwork. You guys are my point of view. Whenever i got tired of study when i remember about your carrer i wake up again. Thanks! Have fun guys. Wait for me ^^.